The truth and nothing but the truth about this past year
My name is Darrell and I have a real estate problem. And some other issues.
The last few years I have been trying to get rid of some houses and apartment buildings to change things up and reduce workload and mental burden. While being barely successful at that shedding of inventory, it has led to subsequent purchases of other buildings for various reasons, some valid, some a bit less, but all well intentioned. During 2025 things occurred in an exacting order that made it so maddening, so it will need some flashbacks and jumping around to track correctly.
The Setup
At the end of 2024 we grabbed a super cute almost new house in Seattle Beacon Hill, to be closer to the grandkids (which I may have mentioned in passing last year). It may not have been thought through fully. That may be a theme this year. Great neighborhood, great house, good deal. However it didn't get used enough, so quickly was converted to an Airbnb. Rachel painted the kids' room in an amazing rainbow and decorated it to be super kid friendly, added accent walls to the boring flat white paint and we dove head first into the perfect niche at the perfect time in the perfect place. This house was just mopping the floor. Guests loved everything about it, it was printing money and always full. With the Tucson Airbnb that had been rolling very well for five years I became SuperHost Ambassador, and got "Favorited 1% Of All Homes". It was fun and we took great pride in the entire endeavor. And to you, dearest Airbnb corporate, we shall return shortly.
Wenatchee
So my friends Tyler and Sarah in Wenatchee had their immediate neighbor, whose name I will not mention, but will call her Sue, because Susan would be too much to type. Sue put her house up for sale and I bought it in April. Why? Because garage. The house, meh, it is OK, neither good nor bad, but has some views and walkable to downtown and in a gentrifying area and had room for improvement.
I have been traveling to Natch about every ten days or so for years. I absolutely love Wenatchee because of all the outdoor stuff there, and my friends, and my glider club, and the mountains and the clear weather. Sue's detached garage with alley access is just massive (it will always be Sue's Garage, despite me owning it) and now filled with motorcycles. Eventually it may come to be known as The Send Shed. Sarah, in wanting to get pregnant, has named their house The Seed Shack. Well, no, actually, that was me, but I am confident she will like it.
The Send Shed has a 12x24 attached shop and a second level over the garage all framed in, but no stairway up, just a pull down ladder. This is like the perfect townhouse ADU (auxiliary dwelling unit if you are not familiar) over a man cave when built out. So sure let's remodel the house and build the ADU, then I can utilize the ADU and rent the house was my thinking. But the weather got in the way.
Wenatchee has four seasons: Cold af, Spring, Hot af, and Smoke.
So being pretty much a lifelong Washington west sider, the ethic on watering grass is simple; don't. It will all come back in the fall. That doesn't fly socially where it only rains ten inches a year, despite people having the same number of lawns. It actually rains less in Wenatchee than Tucson, and only knuckleheads have lawn in Arizona. Sue just loved her roses and her huge lawn and her delicate little flowers that need water and fertilizer and trimming and miles of sprinkler system and drip irrigation piping and sprinkler system maintenance and sprinkler system yearly back flow prevention device checks and tracking of same by the city and her $850 monthly summer water bill.
I take more of a Darwinian approach to yards; Yer On Yer Own, Bitches!!
Trees, yeah, I'll hand water you because I respect you, but the rest of you delicate little assholes can just burn in the sun. Which it all proceeded to do. Quickly.
Meanwhile City of Wenatchee wants to know why I haven't gotten my yearly sprinkler system back flow prevention device check and certification. Umm, because I don't give a damn? Because I don't use it? Because my immediate neighbors all waste water and don't even know what a back flow prevention device is, much less have one, or have it checked yearly or registered, and look their lawns aren't green by magic FFS! Clearly I am not using my sprinkler system guys and haven't even de-winterized it, look at my absolutely brown grass, the dead bushes, and the barely recognizable roses. Except one rose bush, healthy as can be, The Rose of Destiny.
After ignoring the city letters until maybe July they sent a certified letter saying they were going to cut water off by the end of the month if I didn't comply or comply by removing my back flow prevention device and eliminating the sprinkler system altogether (obviously requiring a permit). I wrote back a second time saying look, I am remodeling, re-thinking the landscaping and not living there 24/7, so how is it helping the citizens of Wenatchee if you cut off my water? The device was checked a year ago, shut completely off and hasn't been run----which is more compliant than 99% of your utility customers. And if you do cut it off, which I am not entirely opposed to, please don't send me a minimum service bill. If you do cut off water the trees will die, and you will be creating more of a blight and fire hazard. I am doing everything in my power to save a precious resource and I will get back to you next spring about removing the device.
Never heard back. Water still on, and I still get a bill. Who says you cant fight City Hall? Grass and bushes dead, trees alive, and we find ourselves in a situation.
Gossiping Neighbors
Of course I only heard snide remarks through third parties from Sue about how the yard isn't being watered and looks like crap. Right Sue, and that is exactly on purpose.
In the midst of all the sniping I pulled the dead roses and shrubs out of the ground, poured vinegar on the grass and dumped yards and yards of mulch over it. No mowing, no watering no fertilizing and it looks better. It actually is starting to look really good. Planning for some rock gardens and succulents to complement Sarah's (she grew up on west side also). Why is it that central and eastern Washington can't get with the program and use dry climate landscape techniques like legitimate desert states do? Wasting water and money and a freaking fire hazard. I also cleaned out the entire shed full of nasty chemicals to support the entire endeavor. It gave me a headache even going in there and I am not a chemically sensitive person. Really shameful Sue. Hope you hear about all about this from a third party. And I hope you hear about how absolutely filthy your house was inside. ;-)
A Great Catch
Along with her high maintenance yard, Sue had a waterfall dumping into a small pond filled with six HUGE goldfish. Granted it was cute, but seriously crowded, as the fish have each grown into the size of a cat. Upon leaving she declined to take the fish, saying she didn't care what happened to them. Fortunately there was a lot of fish food and fish water treatment and fish water filtration and fish water testing equipment in the toxic shed. After a couple weeks of feeding fish and dealing with their water I decided I did not want into Sue's vortex of high maintenance yard upkeep. Lilah named all the fish, and I thought oh no this can't be good, but fortunately she quickly forgot their names, so it was game on.
After confirming goldfish cannot be used for food for people, I figured now would be a good time to google "dispatching goldfish". We found out there are criminal penalties for freeing goldfish, an invasive species, Nemo-style into the Columbia river, and imaging video cameras at the boat docks, decided against that. Dropping them out of an airplane was considered also, if only for a hot second and for chuckles. We found just the ticket thanks to AI and the resident hippies at the local apothecary shop; clove oil. After putting the fish in a few five gallon buckets, literally only two drops per full bucket of fish and water and they quickly, quietly and calmly went to the great fish graveyard in the dumpster. Thanks Sue, appreciated all the extra disposal work, although tbh we did get some laughs out of it.
Frantic Nesting (where are my kids!)
Also in April the birds start nesting at the Snohomish airport. Despite having cowl covers, the maintenance people working on the plane didn't put them all back on perfectly and within a day or two I had a nest in and among the cylinders. I cleaned the nest out, vacuumed everything up, and went flying. Small twigs way out of sight in the exhaust heat muff put super stinky acrid smoke into the cockpit immediately upon takeoff. After quickly landing and finding I wasn't on fire, but shaking nonetheless, I put the plane away and changed my underwear. A couple days later I disassembled all the scat tube, vacuumed every crevice and every possible place twigs could go and tested it again. All good, I put the airplane away. A week later I come back and the frantic bird parents pecked on the metal cowling, denting it, and tore at the fabric coverings, got in again, this time making a new bigger nest and laying eggs.
The plastic owl nearby (since named Sue) didn't deter them one bit. So now I had an even bigger mess..
Below is the first airplane nest, and further below, the second Retribution Nest with eggs.
Expanding on airport catastrophes, the airport flooded in December and only as I write this have the airplanes all been removed from high ground and put back into hangars. Unfortunately they went and moved all the airplanes to safety after I specifically checked on my insurance and hoped that if it got wet they would push it ALL THE WAY into the river. No fat insurance settlement.
August
So Lilah started Kindergarten this fall, and her mother Devon was state employed on a federally funded program and they got DOGE'd by Elon and Big Balls. This was just as they were planning for transportation and after school care for Lilah. The state went through multiple funding gyrations and prospective employment situations and she could not be around to pick Lilah up from school or do after school care, so Rachel moved herself and her cats back to their basement to help. This was all happening when the Seattle house that I bought specifically for this purpose and was now a very full Airbnb....well, wait, wait, not going there quite yet........so anyway Rachel just a week or so before moving had paid a LOT of money for a massive Long-Arm quilting machine and had it delivered to the basement in Snohomish right after the most recent tenant moved out. Her intent was to start a sewing and quilting business in the basement, but now she would be in Seattle. Not great timing for anyone really. Thanks Elon. Now I have a basement I cant rent out and she has a payment on a big machine she is nowhere near.
My Epstein Files
Guest whose name is Karen, but I will call Sue, because it is easier to type, was staying in the Seattle Airbnb sends a picture of the "smart switch" in the living area. This is a cute little device the size of two light switches. It is connected to the router and displays the weather, the time, and a daily picture of a nearby attraction or something relevant (Space Needle, Mount Rainier or whatever). It knows when it is dark and light based on the time, and is great for the exterior light so guests don't turn it off by mistake. It has a second small up/down slider switch for one of the interior lights. All five of the houses in this development have this exact switch installed new. Never thought a thing of it after buying the place when it was two years old.
Her text attached to the picture said "THERE IS A CAMERA HERE!"
And she was correct. There in her picture was a camera. There was a tiny little button on the upper corner of the smart switch that you push and a tiny little plastic door slides back, revealing a camera. Never pushed the button, and had no idea. There was another sensor next to it without a cover, and we assumed it was a light sensor or movement sensor so it would know when and how much to dim or eliminate the display? But we hadn't really given it much thought beyond that. Now remember this is an Airbnb specifically catering to kids and families, and there is a fold out bed directly beneath this light switch.
I texted back, oh my gosh, I can remove that and replace the switch and can be there in two hours. Otherwise close the slider, and there is tape and construction paper in the closet.
No response
I texted again, would you like me to come over and remove it, how can I help?
No response.
Two days later at the time she was supposed to be checking out I was walking out the door to go to Lowes to get two plain switches when Airbnb Security calls.
Mr. Hay you realize you have a camera in your place?
Yes, I just became aware of that and was headed there now to remove it (another guest coming literally hours later of course).
I am sending you the Airbnb policy on camera and recording devices and I need you read it and agree to it. Then I need you to remove the device and send a picture of it and the replacement light switch.
You bet I agree with it of course, and I will do all those things, thank you very much.
I removed the smart switch and sent them a picture before and after. CASE CLOSED the immediate text said. Cool. Next guest arrives. Picture of the offending monster below.
Two days later a text shows up. "Sue has been refunded $1572". Usually if there is an adjustment to someone's bill, they have me agree to it and agree to the amount. This was a full refund for the entire stay. Oh well, moving on, I thought.
Airbnb gives 14 days for guests and hosts to review each other. No review from Sue yet. I was scared to death what she might write. In the final hour of the final day I blasted her in review, saying I have had hundreds of guests and only once have I ever had a place left so utterly filthy, and stuff missing (I cant even remember all the grossness months later). And then I said she is a scammer, hosts beware. She got her entire stay free by complaining to Airbnb rather than allowing me to fix an issue and didn't respond to my texts. That felt good. And it was 100% true. I honestly didn't want other hosts getting hosed. Airbnb scammers are a thing.
Many many days later, maybe even a couple weeks, one morning my phone just blows up with Airbnb texts. Why am I being canceled? What happened to my reservation? Where can I go? Did you do this? I have nowhere to stay tonight!
I thought this was a major Airbnb hack.
Nope. I had been eliminated from the Airbnb system. People had their reservations completely canceled and fully refunded, didn't matter if it was six hours away or six months. Probably twenty people on the two properties. Once we figured out what happened, it was a challenge to communicate as AI would eliminate any phone numbers or email addresses. Learned to speak code and saved abut five reservations, but the writing was on the wall. A bit later I got an explanation in an email, and an appeal process. I appealed and an actual human reviewed the case I am sure and NOPE. Hero to Zero that fast. My account was eliminated and I literally cannot even rent an Airbnb now.
Tried VRBO. Lame. Got set up with a short/medium term rental manager and only now recovering financially physically mentally and getting the buildings back online. Insurance has put the binders on both HOAs (and all HOAs more broadly) for short term rentals, so the glory days are over.
Dad had his 90th birthday this year. He suffered a stroke a few years back and I was worried he would start deteriorating rapidly. He is almost fully recovered from that. He has done amazing work, keeping himself busy and involved. Pretty proud of him. Happy Birthday Dad, love you.
Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year Everyone!!!
